What it Means When Someone Says Happiness is a Choice

Happiness.

The word does not seem to have a broad definition but it does. It can get easily lost in translation, depending on the context.

It is the most lost, when people refer to it as something you choose. This confuses and frustrates those who don’t understand what “choosing happiness” means. Which is completely understandable because we’re taught happiness is an emotion, and emotions are mostly out of our control.

Other people are confused because they are misguided and believe happiness is something you work towards or a destination you get to once you have everything you’ve ever wanted.

I want to clear up any and all confusion behind what people mean when they say happiness is a choice. Because true happiness and life enthusiasts want to share this concept with the world.

We (the enthusiasts) understand that you can not be happy 100% of the time. When we say happiness is a choice, we don’t mean you are experiencing the emotion of happiness 24/7 because that is impossible. If anyone tells you that they are always happy, they are either lying to you or fooling themselves.

Everyone has bad days. Terrible days when you can not see the bright side of anything. I definitely do, and if someone told me to just flip a switch and “be happy”, I would smack them. Add yell at them, and curse at them until they got out of my face to the list also.

We understand you don’t have complete control over how you feel. What we have come to understand is that you do have control over decisions that will affect the direction of your life. This is where the “choice” part comes into all of the happiness talk.

The happiness enthusiasts are saying, we are proactively going to make choices and changes that will help create/foster our own happiness. And we have realized, we have a great deal of power to do so.

“Happiness is not ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dahli Lama

There are things in each of our lives that make us unhappy, and we know that these things make us unhappy. As humans, it is in our nature to always expect these things to get better. Yet, most of us, don’t do anything to help facilitate the “getting better” part.

We just sit and wait. We wait for the happiness that we all deserve to be handed to us, without putting in the work. Even though we all logically know, you can’t expect a significant change without making, you know, a change.

A lot of people wait for “the one”, expecting them to appear without putting themselves out there and talking to people. Some people sit in their jobs, hating it, expecting something good to happen. When they could be looking for another job they would actually enjoy.

Worst of all, we sit in our self-pity. We play the victim because it’s easier to blame circumstances than to blame ourselves. “Woe is me”, we say, because we think the world should do us a favor. When the world doesn’t owe us anything. It is up to us to shape our lives into what we want it to be.

We have the power to change a situation that makes us unhappy. If not the entire situation, at least certain aspects of the situation to make it better. If you are too lazy to take action, or can’t take action right now, you have full control over your mentality. And it is entirely your choice, whether to wallow in your self-pity or decide to kick the negativity.

I know that it’s not as easy as it sounds to do this. It is really hard to get yourself unstuck from a rut that you have been in. It is extremely difficult to step away from your complacent and comfortable lifestyle. It’s scary to make changes when you don’t know the outcomes. But isn’t the fact that you are unhappy enough reason to make a change?

The happiness enthusiasts are not sitting and waiting for the universe to magically hand us happiness. We are the ones making choices and changing. We also choose to see the positive in the current state of our lives. Even when negativity or horrible strings of bad happenings occur, we push through with active choices. We don’t let set backs make us feel defeated, we find more ways to get to where we want to be.

This is what makes us so happy. We appreciate everything we do have and we know that things are going to get even better because we are choosing to make them better. Who wouldn’t be happy knowing that they have that power?

You don’t have to wait. You have the power to make your life happier. Make the right choice.


© 2016, Asian on the Outside, All Rights Reserved

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.